Don't Tase Me, Gran: Let's Play Granny Simulator

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We invited Funhaus/Inside Gaming's Bruce Greene to play our favorite new game about Grannies pepper spraying their homicidal grandchildren.
How many tasings does it take for a toddler to bleed from the eyes? How many points is a baby field goal worth? Why does Granny's house have a secret goblin cave filled with hammers and molotov cocktails? What would happen if an old person paid full price for a movie ticket?
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